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HOMILY FOR OPENING CDC MASS 2011
Several weeks ago I attended two talks by a visiting American author, Harville Hendrix. He is a renowned marriage counselor, and together with his
wife has authored a number of books including Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love. The central thesis of their works is that men and
women marry a partner who they believe will give them the love that they longed for from their parents but which mum and dad never fully delivered.
After many years of listening to husbands and wives sharing about the joys and griefs of their relationships this now makes huge sense to me.
We as humans always want the best, the most, the perfect – we are insatiable when it comes to joy and love. Mostly we come to live with
resignation that we have dreamed the impossible dream. Of course no parent can give perfect love to their child. Each of us carries the pains of our
own childhood, or ill heath, or lack of education or resources, and the limitations of our particular personality. So we seek in our spouse someone
who will make up for our deficiencies and provide the love our parents could not fully deliver; unfortunately the person we marry is living
exactly the same fantasy. Inevitably such dreams are doomed to failure and we have to walk the rocky road of loving our spouse for who he
or she truly is rather than what we would like them to be. In a strange but wonderful way the students here at Catholic Discipleship College
learn to walk a very similar path. Facing up to their own flawed dreams and hopes they come to discover Jesus Christ as the living,
unquenchable river of life within them which they in turn must allow to flow freely out to others.
The Samaritan Woman
The Samaritan woman we have just met in our gospel passage is a perfect example of what human love promises to deliver but so often fails to do.
It was no fluke that she was trying to lug heavy jugs of water from a well several kilometers out of Sichar while there is a perfectly good well right
inside that town, nor that she was doing this in the middle of the fiercely hot Palestinian day at a time when no other woman would collect water.
Women did this in the cool of the morning. Having had five husbands and a sixth live in lover she must have been a prime target for the taunts
and anger of the other village women; not to mention that some of them felt a suppressed resentment and jealousy because they would have
liked another attempt at happiness with a different man. In this situation we see Jesus’ remarkable skill as a marriage therapist.
First off he easily evades her attempt to flirt with him (why are you a Jew wanting to talk to me, a Samaritan?), then to divert him with red herrings
(why is it you Jews worship only in the temple in Jerusalem?). He then draws her to admit her great desire for love (sir, give me that
living water so I do not have to come searching again), and to see herself truly (here is a man who has told me everything I have ever done).
And finally he makes her want to take that message to others (we believe not because of what she has said but we have heard him ourselves.)
Deserts Blossom
Some of our own CDC students have wandered a little in their own personal deserts. They have thirsted for true friendship, known loneliness and
borne the heat of the day, and failed in love. They have come here to Takapuna to seek the love they want but which has never been fully delivered.
Here all unexpected, at a moment they least expect, they will know a love of God “which will be poured into their hearts by the Holy Spirit who
will be given them.” They will uncover a bottomless well within themselves, drawing from an underground aquifer with vast resources,
that can be shared with many others, and which in turn will make many deserts blossom.
However, just like marriage, it takes two to tango. None of us alone has enough talent, strength and vision to create happiness.
All of us here carry cracked pitchers that need constantly to be refilled, we need willing hands to help us carry the load.
That is why you, the friends and supporters of CDC, have a vital role to play. Your part in this journey to love is to pray constantly for our students
and to support those you happen to meet. Many of you will be able to support them financially by your gifts or loans; all of you can tell others about
CDC, and help us to recruit students for the coming years. Go out and spread the good news about what is happening here, encourage your
fellow townsmen and women to come to the courses we will be running and talks we will be offering.
In doing this you will be helping to provide the gushing waters of Christ’s grace to a deaf and hurting world that needs this nourishment
so desperately.
Rev.Fr. Neil Vaney SM.
Several weeks ago I attended two talks by a visiting American author, Harville Hendrix. He is a renowned marriage counselor, and together with his
wife has authored a number of books including Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love. The central thesis of their works is that men and
women marry a partner who they believe will give them the love that they longed for from their parents but which mum and dad never fully delivered.
After many years of listening to husbands and wives sharing about the joys and griefs of their relationships this now makes huge sense to me.
We as humans always want the best, the most, the perfect – we are insatiable when it comes to joy and love. Mostly we come to live with
resignation that we have dreamed the impossible dream. Of course no parent can give perfect love to their child. Each of us carries the pains of our
own childhood, or ill heath, or lack of education or resources, and the limitations of our particular personality. So we seek in our spouse someone
who will make up for our deficiencies and provide the love our parents could not fully deliver; unfortunately the person we marry is living
exactly the same fantasy. Inevitably such dreams are doomed to failure and we have to walk the rocky road of loving our spouse for who he
or she truly is rather than what we would like them to be. In a strange but wonderful way the students here at Catholic Discipleship College
learn to walk a very similar path. Facing up to their own flawed dreams and hopes they come to discover Jesus Christ as the living,
unquenchable river of life within them which they in turn must allow to flow freely out to others.
The Samaritan Woman
The Samaritan woman we have just met in our gospel passage is a perfect example of what human love promises to deliver but so often fails to do.
It was no fluke that she was trying to lug heavy jugs of water from a well several kilometers out of Sichar while there is a perfectly good well right
inside that town, nor that she was doing this in the middle of the fiercely hot Palestinian day at a time when no other woman would collect water.
Women did this in the cool of the morning. Having had five husbands and a sixth live in lover she must have been a prime target for the taunts
and anger of the other village women; not to mention that some of them felt a suppressed resentment and jealousy because they would have
liked another attempt at happiness with a different man. In this situation we see Jesus’ remarkable skill as a marriage therapist.
First off he easily evades her attempt to flirt with him (why are you a Jew wanting to talk to me, a Samaritan?), then to divert him with red herrings
(why is it you Jews worship only in the temple in Jerusalem?). He then draws her to admit her great desire for love (sir, give me that
living water so I do not have to come searching again), and to see herself truly (here is a man who has told me everything I have ever done).
And finally he makes her want to take that message to others (we believe not because of what she has said but we have heard him ourselves.)
Deserts Blossom
Some of our own CDC students have wandered a little in their own personal deserts. They have thirsted for true friendship, known loneliness and
borne the heat of the day, and failed in love. They have come here to Takapuna to seek the love they want but which has never been fully delivered.
Here all unexpected, at a moment they least expect, they will know a love of God “which will be poured into their hearts by the Holy Spirit who
will be given them.” They will uncover a bottomless well within themselves, drawing from an underground aquifer with vast resources,
that can be shared with many others, and which in turn will make many deserts blossom.
However, just like marriage, it takes two to tango. None of us alone has enough talent, strength and vision to create happiness.
All of us here carry cracked pitchers that need constantly to be refilled, we need willing hands to help us carry the load.
That is why you, the friends and supporters of CDC, have a vital role to play. Your part in this journey to love is to pray constantly for our students
and to support those you happen to meet. Many of you will be able to support them financially by your gifts or loans; all of you can tell others about
CDC, and help us to recruit students for the coming years. Go out and spread the good news about what is happening here, encourage your
fellow townsmen and women to come to the courses we will be running and talks we will be offering.
In doing this you will be helping to provide the gushing waters of Christ’s grace to a deaf and hurting world that needs this nourishment
so desperately.
Rev.Fr. Neil Vaney SM.
